====== Barvuism ======

Term denoting the belief system of those who follow [[Barvu]]. To become a [[Barvuist]], one need only say [[Barvu's Prayer]].

It is not 100% clear as to what Barvuists actually believe, as their holy book, The [[Barvunty]] is a pretty imcomprehensible piece of work. On top of this, there are many differing [[Barvuist]] sects, each one having different [[beliefs]].

Broadly speaking, Barvuists believe:

  * [[Barvu]] is the true God
  * One should not eat fruit or vegetables
  * Water should be drunk with sugar in it
  * When you die, Barvu makes love to you, and you bear his spirit children 
  * One should never give to charity
  * One should never particpate in team sports
  * Stealing is a virtue
===== Barvuist Sects =====

{{:hal-huntl_mukburl.jpg|}}

//Above: Hal-Huntl Mukburl, enigmatic 18th century cyclops Barvuist leader.//

There are many [[Barvuist]] sects around the world, still operating today. These include:

  * The Sacred order of the Affilliate Sons - Based in Nevada, USA. Led by charismatic ex gun-runner, Jeff Holder. The group believe that they are [[Barvu]]'s actual sons, and partake in the drinking of turkey blood, and bathing in sugared water once a week.
  * The Uvrab - Mysterious German sect who advocate sleeping for 20 hours a day.
  * Temelmenty Barvul - English group, led by Marianne Wilson, a former nun. The group practice free sex, and spend Sundays blowing loudly through whistles to ward off [[Tarvu]].
  * The Mistakeners - Canadian [[Barvuist]] group. Advocate staying awake for one full week, then sleeping the next. Also believe in the existence of 'triples' (i.e. every person has a set of doubles somewhere in the world).
  * Muj Barvuj - Romanian group, who have mostly been imprisoned for arson.
  * The Rotterdam Barvuist Family - Dutch group who follow the preachings of the former Cyclops, [[Hal-Huntl Mukburl]] (1780-1826). Most of the original group were hung for pick-pocketing.