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The Tarvunty

The Tarvunty is the Holy Text of Tarvuism. It was dictated in Tarvish (Classical Tarvunian) by Lord Tarvu to his friend, the proffet Amzamiviram, who translated it into five languages.

A group of Tarvunties

A group of Tarvunties, including (bottom of pile on left) the famous 'Glory to Amzamiviram' edition, 1856.

The Tarvunty consists of a great many books, some of which have yet to have been discovered.

  • B*g*nn'ngs - the creation of the two universes
  • Q*est'ons - why are we here? Why are not here? Why would we have been there? Questions on daily philopophy
  • N*rr*t'ves - Stories pertaining to honour, and humourous lyrics
  • D*l'mmas - Which river should a blind man cross if a deaf lady is on the other side, etc.
  • D*cis'ons - Should one say yes or no? When to say yes or no? Daily decision making
  • C'ntr*dict'ons - A treatise on life's contradictions
  • Pr*ff'ts - Stories of the lives of the great Tarvuist proffets
  • P*nty-h'ynu - Details regarding the practice of Penty-haynu. Includes diagrams
  • J*urn'ls - Tarvu's daily diary from the age of 16-20 - Discusses the onset of a very late puberty
  • P*ety - prayers
  • Cl*cks - Time-telling methods
  • N*rchun'ssaar - How to make Narchunassaar, and the best time to do so
  • T*rtun'ssaar - As above
  • V*rbun'saar - The way to dress, Tarvuist style
  • N*mb'rs - A collection of facts and figures relating to numbers. I.e 'there are 5 number 9's in the number 99999'
  • L*cky Nu*mb'rs - As above but all to do with the number 8
  • *nsw'rs - Answers to all questions left unanswered so far in the Tarvunty
  • M*re *nsw'rs - Basically Answers continued.
  • B*lls - Treatise on bell-making and ringing
  • P*r'doxes - Tarvuist paradoxes
  • Abl*t'ons - Pertaining to matters of the toilet
  • W*tn'sses - Holy Tarvuists who have witnessed great things, i.e Alvinni the Martyr
  • C*incid'nces - Tarvu bumped into himself on Ralfinty Island, when he least expected it etc.
  • C*me-*pp'nces - Those who have crossed Tarvu, and what happened to them
  • M*sings - Thoughts on life in general
  • Irr'tat'ons - Things that have annoyed Tarvu (such as stomach cramp)
  • F*llies - Little jokes
  • R*c'pes - Tarvuist meals - how to make them
  • P*n'caeum (the Book of Medicines) - Natural remedies
  • F*shion - A replica of Virbunasaar, but written in capital letters
  • M*r'ls I - Tarvuist morals
  • M*r'ls II - As above
  • Gh*sts - A personal reflection written by Amzamiviram on ghosts he has met
  • Fe*l'ngs - Tarvu discusses various feelings he has had in his life. The greatest proportion is devoted to shyness
  • W*rs I - Tales of terrible battles witnessed by Tarvu
  • W*rs II As above, contd.
  • Pr*p'rty - How to keep a good house. Tips on buying a house
  • F*'ls - Idiots Tarvu has met
  • M*st'kes - Errors committed by Tarvu (very short book)
  • *n'mals - Early zoology
  • M*nst'rs - Amzamiviram muses on possible monsters that might have existed
  • Pl*ys - Three plays written jointly with Amzamiviram: 'He is the Light' 'And they Bowed Down' and 'Handmaiden in Love'
  • M*nn'rs - Tarvunian etiquette
  • H**v'ns - Details on the afterlife
  • R*fl*cti'ns - A collection of memoirs
  • Disagr*em'nts - A list of every time someone had disagreed with Tarvu and how he was proved right
  • H*lid'ys - Writings on the various vacations and short breaks Tarvu took
  • A Treatise on Succesful Irrigation Systems

Other Works

In addition to the books comprising the Tarvunty, Tarvu wrote some other, non-spiritual works.

  • Doppi-nidoppinarvu I-IV (roughly tr., 'Criticisms') - a selection of reviews of musicians, plays and other entertainments that Tarvu witnessed.
  • Bellimentiharbu ('Bellmanship' ) - a treatise on bell design, written with Amzamiviram, which predicted the use of the bell in the 'telic-fPhonic Devise'. (Illustration below).

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